ATA Enneagram Type 2 Personality Style
ATA Enneagram 2 – Striving to Feel Connected
ATA Enneagram Type 2s interact with the world by Striving to feel Connected.
They are often selfless, caring and nurturing. They focus on helping others meet their needs; they build rapport easily and enjoy finding a common bond with others. When they overdo their Striving to Feel Connected, they may fail to take care of their own needs and end up becoming emotionally dependent on others. Under stress, Twos may fear that if they are not closely connected to others they will become isolated.
Chief Asset: Connection. Twos have a unique ability to understand and empathize with the needs of others. They can read emotional currents and provide just the thing that others need.
What They Like in Others: Friendliness, sharing of feelings, display of emotion.
What They Dislike in Others: Coldness, unavailability, lack of needs.
How They Frustrate Others: Flattery, emotionality, intrusiveness.
Approach to Problem Solving: “I’m fine; is there anything I can do to help you?”
Belief About Work: “Things work best when I can help people succeed.”
How Others See Twos: Helpful, concerned, expressive, dependable, and engaging, but sometimes intrusive, angry, flattering, prideful, and manipulative.
Twos Get Into Trouble When They Tell Themselves: “People who really appreciate what I do for them are more important than others and deserve a larger share of my attention.”
Enneagram Two Leadership & Communication Style
The Type Two Leader: The Coach
The High Side of the Coach: Twos focus on the developmental needs of the team, helping others to develop their skills and abilities and advance in their careers.
The Low Side of the Coach: Twos can be intrusive, manipulative, show favoritism, and demand appreciation.
Where They Shine: When they can help others thrive. Twos love to play a supportive role and often see themselves as the power behind the throne that helps others be successful.
Type Two Communication Style:
• Twos are generally upbeat and focused on bonding with and helping others.
• They often focus on personal issues and tend to make more eye contact than other types.
• They are generally uncomfortable when others focus completely on facts.
Derailers for Type Twos
- Breaking boundaries: The desire to “help” causes you to become intrusive and involve yourself in the affairs of others, whether invited or not.
- Histrionics: Inappropriate and overly-emotional responses to circumstances; can be excessive displays of anger, sadness, jealousy, excitement, etc.
- Playing favorites: Seeing some people as more worthy of your attention than others; an innate tendency to rank others by perceived value and treat them accordingly. This can also lead to abrupt treatment of people or issues that you do not see as important.
- Worrying about everyone else’s problems: Focusing on the needs and desires of other people instead of your own in an effort to be helpful and appreciated.
- Needing other people to like you: Anxiety, conformity, self-sacrifice, and/or insincerity caused by the need to have other people like you.
- Always taking support role: Resistance to leading from the front; preferring to lead from behind by advising, supporting, or manipulating.
Blind Spot for ATA Enneagram 2: Demandingness
Twos are often unaware of their tendency to be demanding and its effect on their relationships. Twos may act like spoiled and pampered princes or princesses and demand that they are appreciated. They exert pressure on others to meet their needs, but feel they deserve this special treatment because they do so much, and care so much, for others. They express their entitlement as “That’s what I would do for you.”
Connecting Points for ATA Enneagram Type 2
Support Strategy at Point 8: Striving to Feel Powerful
Twos are often willing to be powerful champions and protectors for others. Sometimes, however, this ability is overused and they become aggressive, overly emotional, and controlling of others.
Neglected Strategy at Point 4 – Striving to Feel Unique
While Twos are often willing to express their true desires and thoughts, there are critical times when they hide their individuality and needs in order to maintain a connection with others.
Listen to the Conversation about ATA Enneagram Type 2
The Awareness to Action Enneagram Podcast
“The thing I always go back to when I’m working with Twos is just let’s go back to this conversation about boundaries. Let’s make sure we’re setting effective, skillful boundaries. And boundaries are not walls.”-Mario [30:06]
“For all listening, this is not the complete guide to Two-ness. And none of these episodes are complete guides to how to understand insert-type-here. We’ll be talking about the instinctual biases, the subtypes, all of those sort of things in episodes to come, so consider this an appetizer to the types.” -Creek [35:09]
ATA Enneagram Type 2 Subtypes
The striving for connection in Enneagram Type Two is uniquely expressed through each of the three Subtypes.
| CONNECTED PRESERVING | CONNECTED NAVIGATING | CONNECTED TRANSMITTING |
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Explore the Other Types
Growth for ATA Enneagram Two: Cognitive Empathy
Twos, who are striving to feel connected, often react to the world emotionally and allow those emotions to shape their behavior toward others. At times, their emotion overwhelms their ability to step back and take perspective. They respond to a need they intuit in others (or project onto them) and act to help, whether their involvement is appropriate and wanted or not. Their desire to connect may cause them to act in ways that drive others away from them, causing the Two to become either hurt or angry.
Cognitive empathy differs from “emotional empathy.” The latter is purely reactive—an unchecked impulse— whereas cognitive empathy involves allowing ourselves to feel the emotional response we have toward others but then stepping back to objectively think about that and confirm if our intuitions are correct (by checking with the other person). Then we can act (or not act) as necessary. Instead of assuming they know what others are feeling. Twos should practice checking and confirming their intuitions with the other person before engaging.
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A Fun and Informative Deep Dive into Understanding the ATA Enneagram 2
“Almost Famous” and the Enneagram Type Two, Striving to Feel Connected is discussed on this episode of the “Enneagram in a Movie Podcast.” Who are we without others? What happens when we lose ourselves into someone or something else? What brings us together and what drives us apart? How do we describe the ineffable feeling of what it is to love in all its forms? These are the themes of the Type Two and the 2000 movie written and directed by Cameron Crowe.